Garbage Dumping Thursday...

You know it, today's the day. All garbage's are emptied and are in the big roll along down at the end of the driveway. And if I do say so myself, we only have 2 garbage bags in there and our 2 recycle bins are overflowing. Kind of impressive, I think.

Here's what I'm dumping:

Weather-
I just told my mom the other day that I don't ever remember her or my dad ever complaining that in April, on most years, we still had 8 foot snow piles around the neighborhood. Well, maybe that's a little bit more, but you get my drift. No pun intended. Although I can see signs of Spring everywhere I am still waiting for the chill to get out of the air. I'm done with it.
Throwing it away.

Frustration-
I am so frustrated with my body and how it is responding to running again. I don't understand and as I look back on last year and all of the running I was doing at that point, and feeding a growing baby exclusively, I don't get it. I have had so many set backs I am ready to just forget about it and take up something else. On top of it all, my lovely partner in crime, aka Dedication Dude, is in full swing with the spring training. Although I am indeed his #1 fan, part of me doesn't want to hear about how great he feels. I know it, bad, huh? I'm frustrated about it and I don't want to be anymore.
Throwing it away.

Discipline-
Now that I am back to work part time and not spending every second of every day with the kids, when I am home I still have to remember that even though I want to be "Fun Mom" there still needs to be discipline. "No you can't throw that at your sister!" "Turn around and stop telling your brother you are going to flush him down the toilet!" "If you can't leave each other alone you will have to go to your rooms and regroup and come back out when you are ready to play nicely with EACH OTHER!!!" I am remembering that a ridiculously high population of mum's have to carve out a little time to contribute to the checkbook and even though they would like to stay home and make 3 course meals and make sure that the house is spotless they still need to remember to reiterate that, "No, you do need to go and wash your hands because you just itched your butt" Enough said.
Throwing it away.

Things that are out of my control-
People are who they are and if they want to change then they will.
The Checkbook only has so much in it.
We all have choices and sometimes we all make the wrong ones.
The rate at which I have to keep up with shaving my legs. I am unfortunately a hairy beast.

Guilt-
Weekly guilt log:

I got all the laundry done earlier on this week but left it all in baskets.
I opened a bottle of wine on Saturday night and finished it on Monday night. 3 nights, 1 person, 1 bottle.
I dreamt about screaming at someone with whom I really wanted to chew out.
I scolded my son about saying he wanted to be in a wheelchair and was way stern with him about it.
I have yet to secure a spot in a local CSA for the "growing season".


I will recycle the old into something new. (preferably, see 2nd weekly guilt log entry) Apples that have gone bad to the squirrels outside for them to eat instead of throwing them away. Negative behavior into compliments.
Letting it go, throwing it away.

My love all my love,
Cassy