Today...

Today....

I was awakened to Mr. B's voice saying, "Mom, come in here. Open this door and see me!"

I laid still and checked in with myself and counted 100 breathes before my feet hit the ground.

I worried about 7 things, and only 1 of them were out of my control.

I paid attention to requests.

I responded when the time was appropriate.

I asked how someone else was instead of wondering why they had not asked me how I was.

I rubbed the belly of the sweetest, most, loyal furry friend you could wish for.

I immediately wondered if I could and then realized that indeed I would regardless of how hard it would be.

I corrected myself and said I am sorry.

I thought about where I would have been if I had not...

I stared at 2 of the most amazing eyes that were ever created on the face of the earth.

I answered a very uncomfortable question, and loved that I answered with all of me.

I picked out clothes for 2 of "the chicks" without whining that I had other things that needed tending to.

I sat still and made sure my toe touched his.

I laughed and gabbed about silly things and smiled with every muscle in my face.

I watched in wonder at how my babies communicate with people they don't normally communicate with on a daily basis.

I told Mr. Kayano that I was sorry, and asked what I could do.

I wrote. In a book. 4 sentences and felt like I could go on and on and on....

I read about children and their amazing resilience to medicine and wasn't scared but absolutely ecstatic about how I might be able to be a part of that "healing".

I blew away dust instead of frantically trying it pick it up.

I spent my time wisely.

I held onto money that I am planning for.

I paid my dues and participated in every one's "world" for 5 minutes, with opened eyes.

I read about devastation and felt sad.

I prayed 4 times. Once for the time to stand still; when the sunlight came through the front window and they were sitting there, once for the ability to show them I will always be this strong, once for God to please sway me otherwise, and once for the clarity to know when it happens that I already know the answer.

I hugged until the other person let go first.

I said thank you for time spent with my best friend, and meant it.

I signed heavily at all the work, and then smiled and realized I would get it done anyway.

I remained devoted, only slightly less pessimistic than yesterday, and thrilled to know that with each new day comes new things.


Getting it done.
My love, all my love,
Cassy