Food Inc.
I'm not sure that I could even put into words how this movie made me feel. For sure every single emotion was present and accounted for. I am astounded and I am dearly humbled at every ounce of knowledge it brought me. A for sure A-Ha moment, for darn sure. I am not going to get weird and follow some sort of strict regimented diet of all natural, all organic now but I will for sure stop and think and ponder the possibilities of where the food that I purchase actually came from. And I will for sure continue on with my CSA campaign '10. I will not carry guilt, I will make better decisions, I will educate myself further. And I will let my children eat cheese for breakfast, if they so wish to. From happy grass fed cows...
Letting it go,
Throwing it away.
This That and The Other
I am totally blown away, after all of this time, by the things that I still feel the need to "rule" over. Things that are above and beyond anything that I should even worry about. Things that should require about just as much attention as I should give to the well being of Brad & Ang's lawsuit for false accusations. Here are a few:
My daughter's infatuation with cheese
My littlest boy's enjoyment in watching my reaction when he says, "Poop!" He will grow out of this stage. Right?
Demanding that Happy Birthday is sung twice while washing hands upon arrival home from school. Wait! I'm going to hang onto that one.
The dribbles of laundry detergent that drip from the industrial sized vat that adorns the laundry table. If I was ever short, I could scrape up enough to wash a small load. At least...
The fact that people are rude, and chances are they aren't going to change that one unless they are told to their face that they are rude. And only then, one can only embrace change if they want to make the effort.
It's hard to let things go sometimes. Give yourself some time. Baby steps.
Throwing it away.
Revelatory
This word has been following me around since the fall. In some way or capacity I hear it in everything that I do. I keep looking at it's definition in the dictionary:
Revelatory: adjective
1. of, pertaining to, having the characteristics of revelation
I look at it daily. I ponder it. It is a revolving evolution, of course. Revelatory meant something so drastically different even 5 years ago. I am dissecting it. I am doing my best to feel it. In everything from how I am raising my children to how I speak and come across to people. I am writing it all down. In a neatly organized fashion (because that's how I roll) using lots of adjectives and verbs so that I am careful in knowing what it is I am trying to convey. Perhaps I will share in the future.
What is revelatory in your life right now? Are you seeing it or just passing it by?
Revolving door, I shall hang onto this one and look at it again next week...
Music
In my hiatus from the running world and all of it's, "You complete me" epic euphoria I have momentarily parted ways with one of the major additives that make up the chemistry of me.
My adoration of music.
I was born to 2 parents who surrounded our home with music. I didn't listen to the Kidz Bop version of the Pointer Sisters or The Doobie Bros. I heard them first hand, on a record player. Then moving on to Madonna, The Go Go's, The Beastie Boys, Michael Jackson and so on. One of the things that attracted me so much to running in the first place was music and what it did for me emotionally combined with the physical action of moving my body. So much to my dismay, breaking up with running and my figurative thirst for movement has brought me to a stand still in nurturing my relationship with music to it's fullest potential. Kind of like how I hid my favorite Gatorade from Mr. Kayano so he wouldn't drink my Gatorade. (because I'm the only one that should have it in the whole entire world, ya know...) So, on my birthday I received 2 new CD's from a band that in a nutshell, just rocks. (p.s. Jack's Mannequin) And just like that, there was updating on the IPod, there was revelatory thinking (see, it's that word again!) of this "healing" time away from my friend run, there was reintroduction to the "PiePod" (thanks B!) and the wanna be mommy mobile Pathfinder, and volume 20 listening to rearranged playlists that give me goosebumps, for the 117th time.
It's great to let go of bad feelings towards things and change your perspective and the uninterrupted marathon towards a circle becoming round and complete. Looking forward, blinders off.
Throwing it away.
The Weekly Guilt Log
Spending $150.00 on my hair. Probably won't happen again...
Facebook. Enough said.
Reading the new Rolling Stone like I was some sort of addict that had to devour it in every capacity it had. And then dealing with the consequences of waiting to do homework and having to stay up past 12am for complete it.
Purchasing mini bagels and cream cheese instead of making something from scratch with my 2 capable hands for Al's valentine's party at school.
Telling my son that valentine's hearts were pink and red instead of letting him decide what color they should be.
Rollings my eyes and later finding out that that wasn't fair of me to do at all and later sitting through someone else's explanation after peaceful confrontation and asking, "What did you mean by that?" Sometimes painful-bite your tongue-and just apologize because you acted like a jacka$$ brings revelatory thinking... (excuse me? word again!)
Challenging (ahem, forcing) my children to listen to IPR and suggesting (ahem, demanding) them to close their eyes and tell me how the music made them feel. Just because I have a love affair with Bach doesn't mean that they have to also.
Lying to my children and telling them that no one was able to play after school because no one was home, simply because I wanted their time.
Guacamole and chocolate martini's on Sunday. Nothing else...
I can smell spring. Just vaguely. Maybe. Which means spring cleaning soon. Watch out. Dumping the junk can bring revelation. (I'll leave it at that)
My love, all my love,
Cassy
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