Today

Today...

I sent out 2 lovely young people to "the village" to experience a small little piece of a very large pie. With only minimal amounts of choking back tears. By me.

I verbally thanked the coffee pot for the daily guilty pleasure. And then went outside. Alone. With my Mama bird friends. Before the to do list.

I washed, folded and put away little clothes that hold precious bodies. Without whining about how much of it there was to do.

I was a passenger instead of a driver.

I was a listener instead of a talker.

I was a cheerleader instead of a receiver.

I closed my eyes and let the sun shine down on my face and counted to 100.

I worried about 12 different things. 2 of which are totally out of my own control.

I looked at a piece of paper that made zero sense to me and had a pity party for myself and wondered why I had to deal with it.

I prayed 5 times. Once for thanksgiving. Once for the #1 babe. Twice for strength. And once for my crows feet to chill out.

I smiled and said thank you numerous times. And looked each person in the eye each time.

I was ecstatic, thrilled, relieved, and utterly moved to tears when someone was really honest with me.

I hugged until 2 returning players of the team told me to, "Can't breath Mom, LET GO!"

I rolled the window down and turned the music up and let it move me for the 5,000th time in a row.

I remained devoted and only minimally pessimistic. Baby steps.

I stopped worrying for 20 minutes about the 12 things that I had carried with me all day when I sat down to a very fun pizza night.

I gave great thanks (and got over myself for a few minutes) for someone who had to let go of something he loved for a ridiculously long time and then return to with sweet success.

I said No and meant it.

I thought about it, and thought, if I think that I can, most likely I can.


My love, all my love,
Cass