I Am...

Today I am going to just take a deep breath, hold my nose, and dive in. Possibly feet first today. Some days I have to wake up with this mentality and just suck it up. I know, I am a little on the dramatic side sometimes explaining all of the fun doings that happen around here. I really quite honestly am in love with every aspect of what I have to do and accomplish but some days are easier than others. Would I have this same issue if I had to go to work outside this home? Yes. Is it something I crave and desire? Yes. Some days. But when it is all said and done, this is where I am at. I would give of myself 100% in everything else that I had to do. Its just some days I am a million things. Does this make me a better mom? No. Does this make me feel more accomplished? Yes, in what I have to do. And it gives me a huge sense of accomplishment. Today I am grateful. I am grateful for where I am at. Today I am grateful for the things that I know. Today I am grateful for being me. A couple of weeks ago we had the girls (from Girls On The Run) bring in something to group that was of great value to them. A lot of them brought in their childhood blankets, stuffed animals, a picture of their pet. We were in a circle and had to go around and explain why it was so important in our lives. Now, I think that I may have spent a good 5 days trying to think of what I was going to bring. I wanted to bring a picture of my kids to explain to them that as a mom they were my most sacred treasure. I wanted to show them my wedding ring and explain to them that it was the most precious gift that my best friend gave to me and he told me that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. But I decided to channel my inner "teacher" and go with something a little more on the "let's hit home with this one" idea. When it got to my turn I told them that I brought Cassy. I brought me to share with them. That as a 30 year old woman I am a wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend amongst other titles. I told them that there will come a time in their lives that they will look back and not like who they were at various stages in their lives but when push comes to shove, if you can wake up everyday and like your own self, that is far greater than any possession you can own. I was quite proud of myself for what I said and I can only hope that they will someday remember that when the going gets rough, keep your dukes up and hang on tight. But in the end remember its ok to be kind to yourself and like yourself too.
So today I will wear all the hats that us mom's wear to appease everyone. To make everyone feel special. To ensure that there is peace. And when I fall into bed tonight me and all of my super hero powers that help me survive on a daily basis will rest and will attempt to dive in head first tomorrow. Maybe with a helmet on too. Safety first.
Until then...

My love, all my hat wearin love,
Cass



P.S.
Conversation at 7:15am this morning over Captain Crunch...

Isaac: "Mom when are you going to grow a penis?"
Me: "Isaac, mom's not going to grow a penis, I have a vagina."
Isaac: "Thats really a bummer mom because I love my penis."
Me: "I know baby, I know...