Where I am at, is where I am at.

Good morning! Well technically it is the afternoon I suppose. I did open to a new post to start around 2 hours ago and I am just getting a chance to sit and enjoy a little clicking away time with my computer.
SO much to say, SO many thoughts to put down as it has been 2 weeks since I have last posted. Jeb was home for the better part of the last 2 weeks so it was a little hard to compete with him for some time on this dinosaur! That and its March Madness so that means hourly checks of the whole bracket situation were taking place. I actually got a chance to go back and read some of my older posts from past and it was quite hilarious. Sometimes I am in awe of my thought process and how sometimes I talk as though I am having a very frazzled, scattered conversation with someone in front of me and not a post on the blog. I started this blog for reasons of plenty. I love that I can update my family and let them know that I am still alive. I surely don't have the time to devote to written notes sent through the mail and I surely don't have the time to get on the telephone. But come to find out this has been quite therapeutic to express the scattered thought process that I posses. I am so grateful to all who have checked in and who are genuinely interested.
On that note... I have had some "reflection time" the last couple of weeks and I have come to a conclusion. Are you ready? I am not perfect. I won't ever be perfect. I am incapable of even trying to be perfect. (That and its not worth stressing over) I have gone through such a growing period the last couple of months and I think that I just may be starting to settle into this little world that I have here in the Stone house. Its not that I wasn't sure before of where I stood or what my role was but I think now I am fully capable of handling and dealing with everything that is happening in my life. I love that my life is somewhat chaotic. I love that some days I have to literally look at my reflection in the mirror and talk to that girl and tell her to count to 10 before continuing on. I love that I don't even attempt to compare myself to anyone anymore. And I love that where I am at, is where I am at. Chaos and all. Diapers and nursing. Turning 30 and surviving everyday as it comes. Its ok to be overwhelmed. Its ok to be spread thin. (Thinner layers means less calories when one is referring to lets say frosting on a cake.) Its ok at 30 to have your feelings hurt and act like a child in the comfort of your own surroundings. (preferably when no one is looking) Its all ok. No sweating the small stuff, not worth it. Just enjoy. You would hate for your kids to go to school and let their little friends know at circle time that mommy had to talk to herself in the mirror and say things like, "Mommy is good, mommy does good, mommy has patience and is going to tear it up today. Go get 'em girl!" That would be embarrassing. (no, that hasn't happened yet, but I will let you know if he overhears me next time) So, I am alive. I am good. Now if only I could get outside to start running again. I need to move and get my rear end out. Hopefully after our little snow storm today I will attempt tomorrow. We shall see...
It is picnic Tuesday and I let the kids eat Easter candy and PBJ for breakfast on their blankets in the kitchen. Maybe we will have cereal and toast for lunch. I love it! Isaac told me, "This is great Mom" this morning and all I could do was smile. The greatest compliment I could receive. Ali is one week with no diapers and is doing so well. She went to my underwear drawer this morning to borrow a pair of mine in return she left a pair of her Dora panties for me. I told her it was a fair swap. She folded mine up and put them in her drawer. We shall see when she decides to wear them. :) My littlest meatball is wonderful. A little ball of noises and screeches from wherever he is perched at the time. When he smiles, he smiles with his whole face. Such a joy he is.
Dancing with the Stars is back on and Grey's Anatomy will soon reappear. Easter was wonderful. Spring will be here soon. My babies are growing by the minute. I am taking up Yoga which will hopefully kick my butt. My stars are all aligned and Saturn has returned. Hi my name is Cassy and I am a scatter brain.
Thanks for checking in. I think we are all caught up now for a few more days. I will post again soon.

My love, all my love,
Cassy