Wimper, wimper.....

Ok, so I wasn't going to complain anymore but I have changed my mind. I'm going to whine and complain for another minute.

I am crabby, I am angry, I hurt all over. And on top of it all I haven't been able to run since Saturday! I am starting to feel like a caged rat!

On Monday evening I went out to get a good run in. It was a beautiful evening and all day long I had been prepared to hand over the reigns to Jeb the minute that he got home. I had dinner prepared and the table set. There was nothing to do, nothing to worry about but getting myself out of the house for 45 or so mins. I had looked forward to it all day. So being the extra nice and thoughtful (you like that?) mommy I am I decided that I would take Cody with me on my jog. He used to come with me all the time this past fall and winter when I would go out, but hasn't since I have started venturing out to "the big road". (I am hot stuff, ya know!) So off we went. I decided to be kind to my little running partner and walk a half mile before taking off, so that we did. I was feeling so great and loving that I had only had to take one full day off from my trail run on Saturday, I had been organized all day long and it was a Monday, it was perfect. There was nothing to ponder, nothing to "figure out", nothing that I needed to dissect or over analyze. I hadn't even taken "Burke" (my other trusty running buddy; my hot pink IPod) along this time. I was simply out to enjoy my own company. So there we were, ready to start the watch and get our miles on. I rounded the 1st corner of the sub looking back and not sensing Cody anywhere. I called for him. I called louder becoming irritated that he was not following what my plan was clearly laid out to be. I saw 2 friends, one coming home with her kiddos from work and one headed out for a walk with her dog. They were standing at the corner. I waved and proceeded, feeling like we were off at a comfortable pace when all of a sudden, CRASH! I was on the ground. I was on the ground and it had felt like someone had tipped the earth over too far and everything came crashing over. My girlfriends asked if I was ok and I slowly got up taking inventory of what was beginning to throb. All of a sudden I could see Cody and his black lab friend Rachel greeting each other as if it were the 1st time Cody had seen another dog in his entire life. He had clipped my leg when I took the corner and clearly I went down like a ton of bricks. What the hell! I was so angry. I was angry because I looked down and could see that my leg was starting to drip blood down it. I was angry because how many other hundreds of times had Cody and I walked with Isaac or Ali when they were 1st getting their "sea legs" and he was always so extra cautious, almost as if he understood that they were little fragile birds. I was ticked. I was more than that and to top it off I was now done running. Not happy. I limped home with Cody trailing a few feet behind and his nose down. I was hoping that he felt awful. I walked into the mud room and asked Jeb in my calmest voice to come in there. I immediately started to cry the second I saw his face. I felt like a child when I tried to whimper out the "I fell down and it hurt." It only now sounds hilarious! (I should have had a hidden camera somewhere.) I hobbled into the bathroom to try and rinse off the gravel that was stuck to my elbow and knee trying not to sound like someone was murdering me with a pick ax. Not fun! I went to the kitchen and Jeb got me some ice. I don't really remember this feeling. The last time that I fell like this I was running down my grandmas driveway when I must have been about 11 or so and I crashed big time. I have a scar now, on the same leg. Monday night sucked. I hurt, I was crabby and on top of it all, my running buddy was extremely displeased with me especially because his little abode; my accommodating uterus, proceeded to squeeze him every 10 or so min for 3 hrs. He was not happy and either was I. I had taken inventory earlier when this happened and calmed myself down knowing that he was fine because clearly I fell on my side and not my belly. If he could have asked, I am sure that he would have asked, "What in the hell was that?!" at the time of impact.

In a nutshell, I was brought back to reality last night after laying in bed like a wimp, feeling sorry for myself watching TV with Jeb. We were watching the tour De France and they had replayed a very very nasty crash involving lots of blood and numerous bodies being thrown into the air. Only after watching this did I realize that they had to continue on with their trek straight up a mountainside cliff; for 30 or so more miles!. I immediately "bucked up" but only after whining that I needed a chocolate shake and talking to my mom who called to check on me. Thanks mom. Pity party over. :) I told Jeb that when one of our children falls and crashes hard that I will do whatever they need me to do to make it better. Its funny, that full circle thing. As for Cody, he knows that I am unhappy. Maybe I will attempt to swallow the bitter forgiveness horsepill later today.

No need to send flowers. :) hee hee. Just needed my last moment of pity party especially if you see me and my "hot stuff" self out on the big road running this evening.

My love, all my love,

your moderately embarrassed, ego bruised friend