Hello! Its me!, I'm in love with another man, running w/ the festivalers, and No more 3 1/2!

Hello, my name is Cassy. Remember me?! :)

Ok , so this has to have been the longest week on record for me. I'm not so sure but I think that back in the day before I had kids I may have not appreciated my quiet time as much as I do now. Whew! :)

Lots to share...

A week ago today I woke up at the butt crack of dawn and hauled my rear end (enlarged & still expanding) out for a run to ready myself for my ultrasound. It was a beautiful morning and the other mama birds and I had some good quality time together pondering, chatting, bragging about our growing children. I don't think that I was 100% sure about what I would follow through and do that morning at the ultrasound. I was dying to know for millions of reasons. Jeb and I had talked previously and had pretty much decided the night before that we would find out what exactly was growing inside of me. I was still on the fence until I realized that either way it truely really didn't matter to me what was in there just as long as all parts and peices were in their respective places; no lie. Now, there were a lot of people out there that said that I should find out and there were probably even more people out there that said I shouldn't. I made my mind up. At the beginning of last week I had earased all of the names that we had talked about on the dry earaser board because I was getting irratated about numerous things/comments/occassions of conversation. Nothing that I could tell you in particular just irratation in general. I will not name any names or instances but I suppose in the long run it really helped me to fully wrap my brain around the decision that I had to make. (Don't you love how I make this sound like its just my decision and not my husbands too?) So back to the glorious morning I spent huffing around "the loop"... I made peace, I had peace, I made up my mind (for the last time) and was ready to follow through. So, I picked up Jeb and together hand in had we walked into the hospital to find out what the last addition to our family was going to be. I was so nervous and so excited all at the same time. (Much better experience than finding out when I actually was pregnant, but thats a different story.) We were called in and met our tech who most definatly had to have been a distant aunt as I immediatly felt so comfortable talking to her. She explained everything in such great detail, the room was comfortable, I was comfortable, the setting was perfect; dimmed lights and all. I was ready for the show. She made a ton of measurements, said "good" a lot, and then said she was ready to show us if we were ready. She scooched the wand over a bit and there in front on my eyes were 2 little butt cheeks with a little floating "apple stem" as she giggled and called it. There it was. The pride of every boy and man. She asked us if we knew what it was and I said, "No" in complete idiot mode just so that I could say, "are you sure thats what that is?" Its a boy she typed on the bottom of her screen. I looked and Jeb and suprisingly enough I had tears in my eyes. Everything else just disappeared. No more decisions to make. Its a boy. Jeb looked at me as though we were mirroring the same emotion. Same look, same smile, same feelings. Its the finest feeling to experience together. I wish that I could bottle it and sell it on Ebay. :) So, that was that. She taped on a VHS tape for us some other measurements and printed numerous pictures. He gave us a thumbs up at one point. He sucked on his hand. He yawned. He flipped around a ton. He lounged. He had me at hello. I am in love. Plain and simple. I suppose I could go on but I shall stop at that. In the end his "stats" were right on and my little not even 1 pound baby boy had his mom & dad in a pool of adoration on the floor. We scooped each other up and walked out. I love it when you can make a decision and walk away feeling like no matter what there was nothing to regret. Even if I hadn't found out, I was reminded of the power that seeing your very own child for the 1st time can put you so high in the clouds, it can stop the rotation of the earth momentarily, it can put you in such a state of love that there is no other feeling that could possibly come close to it. He is ours, and now I get to continue to love him just as much as I did that morning out hangin with the other mama birds. The power of motherhood...

I came home in much anticipation to tell Isaac, thinking he would fully grasp the important news. Much to my dismay I walked in and after letting him know that he was going to have a brother, he asked for "that gum from Easter up in the cupboard". Little does he know what an awsome friend he will have someday, I will tell them both this story over wings and a beer.

On Friday Jeb had gone fishing and came home in the early afternoon which was a real rare occassion and a welcome one at that. We packed the kiddos up and off we went to pick up & proceed with early registration for the Cherry Fest 5K on Sat morn. Now as a rule of thumb, you probably shouldn't pack these many emotional things/situations during pregnancy to get into such a short amount of time, but you know me, push, push, push.... We took the same route to pick up our packets & numbers as we used to driving to school in the morning together our senior year of high school. I can still remember this like it was yesterday. Just pulling up to the school in general with each other makes my stomach jump a little. Kind of like the first time we kissed. Of course we were in "race mode" so it would have been completely wrong of me to "Shmoopify" the moment. I was supposed to be focused on the course and there was supposed to be words of encouragement and cheerleader esque verbage going on, so I put my game face back on. It was packed. I was pumped. Jeb was more nervous than I had ever seen him. We walked out with our loot and drove the complete course again going over stratedy and so on. We were pumped. We got home and proceeded to stuff ourselves full of carbs and get cleaned up for bed nice and early.

Sat morn...

I must have slept like a baby. Like a baby that knew if it were to actually make a peep, its mom would come and sooth and retuck back in. The alarm went off about 5:45 and it was pouring outside. It was gloomy and dark and there was rain dripping from the gutters. (one of my favorite noises) The windows were open and once again I could hear my other mama bird friends out finding food for their young. So, knowing full well that my baby birds would sleep, I could now devote my 100% attention to my husband and his nerves, I got up dressed myself in what had to have been an outfit I must have worn long before my growing belly became since I continually tugged at it, I dragged myself to the kitchen to start the pre race fuel up. Jeb followed in his complete outfit, knit cap and all. We ate and relaxed and greeted our babysitter 6:45. We drove once again to the high school only jamming to Thunderstruck by AC/DC twice. We passed lots of guys in their "runnin best" out for their warm up runs and could feel Jeb's anticipation & heart beat as our time neared. He took of for a warm up when we got there and I sat and did my best at looking like I knew what I was doing. No more rain, just damp and the whole grounds swarming with people waiting. We kissed good bye and I told him to find me amongst the 2,000+ people at the end. I was nervous for him. It felt like high school again when I was "the understanding girlfriend" who couldn't talk too much or act too crazy before football games. It was great! :) So the gum went off and I knew that he was long gone as my chip beeped over the starting activation line. What a feeling. Now I like to consider myself an avid runner. I know pretty much what my body can do preganant or not when I run but I have never in my life experienced so many others runners in one area in my whole life! At the very beginning I jogged with a man and his probably 10 or so year old daughter. He at one point told her she was setting a great pace and that she was doing great. It was like I was stealing a moment from their very own family scrapbook. How long have they run together? What did they do for pre race dinner and pre race breakfast? What were his words of advice on their drive in? He was the supportive dad and the determination on that sweet girls face brought me almost to my knees. I was honored to share that moment with them. I will always remember.

At that point we were to the 1st hill and I was totally prepared, I felt great, and my little man was tucked in comfy in his little pouch. I am positive that after about 10 or so steps he knows what we are doing and he settles right in for the ride. My music was kickin and I was running with a couple hundred other people for crying out loud! Whew! At one point, I got a touch overwhelmed and proud, and a little like a proud lioness and wondered if Tres and I would ever run together like some of these parents and kids. Would it be just our thing? Would I invite Isaac or Ali to join us? Would he want to? Regardless of what He wants I can always tell him that 2 days after I found out that he was a he and I saw his long legs for the 1st time, his mama ran down Front Street in a tiny pair of shorts and jogged her way to the finish of a 5K. Needless to say I was more than proud to carry him to the finish line.

I rounded the corner at the end and saw my sweet husbands face telling me I was almost there. I think #1 that I was more shocked that there were still people behind me and #2 that the time on the counter would end up being my best time pregnant or not. I finished. Didn't care who was there and watching, nothing mattered. Once again another morning filled with peace. In the winter I had set a goal for myself of winning my age class but in the end I am more proud of the accomplishment of what my body is capable of doing at 21 weeks pregnant. We went and got ourselves a celebratory lattee and a raspberry cream cheese croissant @ Potters and headed back to reality. Home by 9am and back into the daily norm.

Onto the last and final exciting "doing" of the week.

My sweet baby boys 4th birthday. What a beautiful feeling. The look on his face when I saw him for the first time on Sunday morning was the highlight of the century. He is to that point where he understands and is excited. I can remember the day of his birth like it was just last week. My mom used to say that about me every birthday and I only hope that when he is 29 I can still say that. I wanted Isaac in the worst way that ever was. It took a lifetime to have him and hold him and now all I can say is that we were meant to be together. He is the highlight of my day, he is what a friend should be. He is the nicest guy that was and I only hope that as he matures I get to love him even more than what I do now. I appreciate life so much more because of him.

We had all of his family over and he loved and adored every minute of it. He got everything that he wanted and as I tucked him into bed, and told him that I loved him up to the moon and back, I didn't cry. I didn't long for him to be a baby again. I simply told him that every birthday would get even better. He of course in is his sweet Isaac way said, "Thanks!" (which brings me to complete hysterics) Little will he ever know the magnitude of his mamas love.

So there you go. That has been my week. I am exausted. We as a family are exausted. :) It seems as though my life has been turned up one more RPM. Better lace up a little tighter.

Jeb & I are running again in Frankfort on Sat. May be my last hurrah. If you are just rolling out or are on your second cup of java @ 8:30 hold that glass high and say good morning. I will be thinking of you. I promise to talk to you soon.

My love, all my love,

Big Mama Bird Cass

P.S. Heres our race times:

http://www.doitsports.com/newresults3/search-2-gruplus-tabled.tcl

P.P.S. Its late and I am not proof reading or spell checking. Forgive me. You may get a good laugh at a very random incomplete thought. :) XO

Jeb is the second from the right. (on his tip toes) You can see him in the reflection if you look close.
http://pictopia.com/perl/gal?process=gallery&gallery_id=17898&provider_id=479&ptp_photo_id=traverse:1721328&sequencenum=36