Still..

I am still here.

I still wish to share.

I still make coffee every morning and take a big deep breath so I can tackle the day.

I still remain cautiously optimistic about 103 different things at a time.

I still tell Z everyday that I am ok with him being in the army. (even though it terrifies me that he will go through with it someday)

I still change diapers but am terrifically close to not.

I still love red wine. And Sugarfree Red Bull. And really dark beer. And my friend Chef Steph's coconut macaroons with chocolate ganache. And...

I still relish in the fact that I get to be a mother to 3 children.

I still miss nursing them and hearing them breath so close to me.

I still attempt to chase my PR's every week and document it all so I can see it with my own 2 eyes how very strong I really am.

I still love John Mayer but Mr. Brooks is my favorite.

I still attempt to remember to be patient, shave my legs often, and remember its all about the journey.

I still remain enrolled in school.

I still ache to get through completely in tact.

I still have a love hate relationship with Facebook.

I still want another tattoo and my nose pierced and the backs of my thighs to be smooth.

I still wish to lay the hammer down on McKinley just so I can turn around and say, "I told you so!" right back at her.

I still don't really enjoy football season or fantasy football but will take one for the team. Again.

I still talk myself into almost unattainable goals everyday.

I still ache to know exactly what I am supposed to be doing but will just hang on and let be what will be.

Hello again.
Its been a while.


My love, all my love,
Cass