Garbage Dumping Thursday

Today is the day of the dump.
95% of my garbage is recycling and 3% of it I composted. So technically, I am single handedly saving the earth. I mean, I'm just sayin...
You can thank me later...
Slipping off soap box...
Here is the weekly rant.

"You are not my Mom and I don't like you!"
Now that I am trying to recount what actually happened, I cannot.
Either way my lovely little sweet, cherub faced child with whom I pushed out of me and gave life to, proclaimed this endearing sentiment in a fit of rage.
Still trying to recount what it was that actually happened...
She was upset. And for a split second, I indulged in her fit of anger.
I watched as her nose scrunched up and she welled up with tears of absolute fury. All the while one arm on hip the other waving ferociously in complete non approval for the whole thing. That one thing I can't recount.
What did I learn?
Getting angry is so healthy. Speaking your mind is so healthy. Wanting to proclaim and make known how you ultimately feel about something, so healthy! I was very proud of her. I stood there and listened. I nodded my head in a pure and exact moment of concentration making sure eye contact did not leave her the entire time.
She was so precious, I could have eaten her up. I will write this one in the "apology log" and expect an, "I'm sorry Mom!" later.

Throwing ugly words away.


ADN
Why is it that the throat gets so sore and lymph nodes swell?
How is it that exercise, something that is so good for body, can cause a small fracture the size of a hair to send you crying, "UNCLE!"
How is it that the heart can reroute the route, rekindle the current, and replenish the organ after damage has been done to it?
How and why can nerve's all of a sudden loose its nice little comfy, cushy Snuggie, and cause complete destruction in someones life?
All of these things parade around my brain on a daily basis.
However, the whole "Finding a needle in the haystack" philosophy remains. Kind of like thinking running a marathon in flip flops would be easy. Kind of like thinking keeping lanterns lit on the Great Wall would be easy, in the middle of a monsoon. Either way, no matter what you have accomplished, and no matter how many abbreviations you have after your name. You thought to yourself, if I think I might me able to do it and get it done, chances are I can probably do it and get it done.

Throwing uncertaintly away.


Learning from The Big One on opening Day
So if anyone knows this family, there really isn't just 5 of us. There is the team owners, the team players, and the team mascot. There are 5 birthdays to celebrate. There is 1 anniversary to celebrate.
And then there is hunting.
The silent birthday/anniversary/celebration member of the family.
Which is, don't get me wrong, one of the most honorable things that I admire about Mr. Kayano. He exudes confidence when he is surrounded with all things hunting. He is at his finest and most calm when he prepares for hunting. He returns from hunting with a sense of pride, a clear outlook on all of life's unanswered questions, and wisdom from all his friends that share the same space in the woods.
Unless he has shot at and tracked a large male deer for hours to no avail. Hummpff...
Here's me trying to make it all better...
I exclaimed that even though he didn't find the lovely deer that other animals would now have a means of a meal. The circle of life that is so definite and round would provide for someone/something else. Either way there is plenty of time to rebound. There is plenty of time to catch The Big One.

Throwing the disappointment away, sweetie!


The Weekly Guilt Log

My deactivation list status still remaining, Deactivated. And still having a pity party almost daily about it.

Not cleaning the fish tank out and instead entertaining the idea of an algae eater to do the work for me.

Not going to PTO, again.

Not saying something totally uncomfortable sooner.

Coffee, soy lattes, Red wine, cheese of any kind, People.com, My Atlas of Human Anatomy book, and Facebook. I.E. things that devour way too much of my time.

Still playing the "I'm perfectly fine" game.

Telling my husband to, "Buck up and go out and have some fun, cause guess what? If I get hit my a bus tomorrow, you are going to have to impress someone else with your knowledge of having a good time, so get out of this house and have some fun already!" (I know, a little rough)


That's all she wrote.
Until next time. Dump it, recycle it, make it into something lovely.

My love, all my love,
Cassy